{"id":198,"date":"2011-04-04T14:59:56","date_gmt":"2011-04-04T14:59:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warrenmyers.com\/blog\/?p=198"},"modified":"2011-04-04T14:59:56","modified_gmt":"2011-04-04T14:59:56","slug":"avoiding-and-returning-from-bitterness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/?p=198","title":{"rendered":"avoiding and returning from bitterness"},"content":{"rendered":"

QOTD \u2013 \u201cwhat is your biggest pet peeve?\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

Examples<\/h1>\n

Gen 4:3-9<\/a> – Cain<\/h2>\n

The first crime recorded was Cain\u2019s murdering of his brother Abel because God showed favor to Abel\u2019s offering and not to Cain\u2019s. Cain was a farmer while Abel was an animal herder. After God directly confronts him about his anger and \u201cfallen countenance\u201d (bitterness if I ever heard it described), Cain tells Abel his brother {8<\/a>} \u2013 perhaps this was a conversation where Cain wanted to know why Abel was blessed and he wasn\u2019t, or maybe to arrange a trade for his next sacrifice to God, to ask forgiveness, or maybe it was just to vent. Whatever that conversation\u2019s content, it did not go well because Cain murders his brother in the next sentence.<\/p>\n

John further expands on what happened with Cain in his first letter, I John 3:12<\/a> \u2013 \u201cCain, who was of\u00a0the evil one and slew his brother And for what reason did he slay him? Because\u00a0his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why was Cain bitter? Cain was bitter over his brother\u2019s righteousness.<\/em><\/p>\n

Gen 27:30-42<\/a> – Esau<\/h2>\n

Rachel and Jacob were sneaky people. At his birth, Jacob\u2019s hand was holding his brother Esau\u2019s heal {25:26<\/a>} \u2013 as if he did not want him to get out first! Come a few years later, Jacob sells his brother a bowl of stew for the right of the first-born. And then the sneakiest of all: Jacob lies to his father, dressing-up like his hairy brother, and steals his father\u2019s blessing on his brother \u2013 at the encouragement of his mom. In verse 41<\/a>, Esau plans to kill his younger brother, just as Cain had done \u2013 though, perhaps, this time it could be considered \u201cjustified\u201d (Jacob had dealt deceitfully with his family, after all). But at his mother\u2019s urging, Jacob runs away to the land of her relatives to escape Esau\u2019s grudge.<\/p>\n

33:1-16<\/a><\/p>\n

The more amazing aspect of Esau\u2019s bitterness, though, is that he did not pursue his brother over his thievery, cheating, and lying \u2013 a decade and a half later he has calmed down, and when his brother returns from their uncle\u2019s plantation with his family and flocks in tow, Esau rushes to meet him (with a small army) and falls on his neck and hugs and greets him \u2013 welcoming him home again!<\/p>\n

Sadly, the same could not be said of Esau\u2019s descendants: the Edomites actively worked against their distant cousins when the Israelites came out of bondage in Egypt {Num 20:14-21<\/a>}. Their antagonism was so great, and their lack of compassion so strong, that many years later God sent Obadiah<\/a> to prophecy against Edom for their downfall.<\/p>\n

Why was Esau bitter? What did he do about it? Esau was bitter, but repented.<\/em><\/p>\n

I Sam 18:6-9, 10-11<\/a> – Saul<\/h2>\n

Saul was Israel\u2019s first king \u2013 the popularly demanded ruler Israel complained to God for. Saul had a lot going for him \u2013 he was handsome, tall, wealthy, and well liked. God\u2019s plan for Israel, however, was to establish the throne of David for the eventual lineage to Jesus Christ. Saul knew this when Samuel told him that God\u2019s favor was no longer with him, yet instead of bowing to God\u2019s will, and stepping aside for David to take over, Saul got mad.<\/p>\n

After David\u2019s unexpected arrival at the army of the Philistines in battle array against the Israelites and hearing Goliath\u2019s challenge, he stepped up to the plate in God\u2019s strength showing the kind of faith and courage one would expect from a battle-hardened warrior: not a shepherd boy delivering some cakes to his brothers. Saul was impressed with the bravado of young David, and bestowed honor on him for even trying<\/em> to go against the Philistine champion when no one else would.<\/p>\n

But Saul\u2019s pride got to him quickly afterwards: after killing Goliath {7-9<\/a>}, \u201cThe women sang as they played, and said, \u2018Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.\u2019 Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, \u2018they have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?\u2019 Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wow \u2013 here is a guy who just got his rear snagged from the fire, and instead of ascribing God glory for His working through David, he gets indignant at the women singing David\u2019s praises above his own. Saul\u2019s ego could not handle another\u2019s accomplishments, and instead of praising God, he plotted to kill David. In the very next verse<\/a>. \u201cNow it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house, while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. Saul hurled the spear for he thought, \u2018I will pin David to the wall.\u2019 But David escaped from his presence twice.\u201d David came back to play more, and Saul attacked again!<\/p>\n

For the next several years, Saul would have an on-again, off-again, to really off-again, relationship with this \u201cman after God\u2019s own heart\u201d \u2013 eventually chasing him all over the countryside trying to kill him just to retain the power God had already removed from him. The saddest part of Saul\u2019s life is his end, though, where {31:3-4<\/a>} he had become so entranced at David\u2019s greatness that he went into battle against the Philistines unprepared, and was injured. Even in death Saul could not regain any of his former honor, and instead of dying like a man, he asks his armor bearer to kill him \u2013 and then just falls on his sword himself to spare the indignation he felt he would receive at the hands of the Philistines.<\/p>\n

Why was Saul bitter? What happened to him? Saul\u2019s bitterness cost him his life and his sanity.<\/em><\/p>\n

Lev 19:18<\/a> \u201cYou shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD\u201d<\/p>\n

Job 7:11<\/a> – Job<\/h2>\n

Job\u2019s life was thrown into total upheaval by Satan just to get him to curse God. Of course, Job did not have the advantage we do of being able to read the preamble to the story. Nor could Job have realized while it was all going on that the end<\/em><\/strong> of the story was going to be so good. Job lays his complaint to God right on the table in chapter 7: \u201cTherefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.\u201d Months go by with his \u201cfriends\u201d accusing him of having some great sin hidden that God is punishing him for and even his own wife \u2013 the one who should<\/em><\/strong> be his greatest supporter, cheerleader, encourager, and confidant \u2013 telling him to just \u201ccurse God and die\u201d. Not the most amazing pep talk ever.<\/p>\n

As I just alluded to, though, Job comes out of his despair. It takes God coming right down to his face and setting him straight on all the things he did not know about Himself, but Job listened. One of the most humbling, and eloquent, confessions ever recorded was Job\u2019s to God as an act of repentance for the bitterness he had entertained {42:1-6<\/a>}: \u201cThen Job answered the LORD and said, ‘I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me. I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You; Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes.\u201d<\/p>\n

God even went so far as to restore Job double {11-17<\/a>} all of his earthly possessions when he restored him from his time of trial!<\/p>\n

Why was Job bitter? What did that bitterness do to him before he repented? Job\u2019s bitterness slowed God\u2019s response to his trial. But he repented and God blessed him.<\/em><\/p>\n

Luke 15:11-32<\/a> – Contrasted Bitterness<\/h2>\n

Perhaps no other passage in the Bible compares and contrasts two different accounts of bitterness better than the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15.<\/p>\n

You all know the story: the younger son gets uppity and demands his inheritance NOW. Dad splits it up. Sonny heads out on his own; loses fortune; grows discontent and bitter at his current circumstances; determines to head home and ask pop\u2019s forgiveness. Dad does. That is the part we all know and love: the picture of the father\u2019s unconditional forgiveness.<\/p>\n

But what about the other brother? The older son is grousing. As he is coming in from working in the field, he hears a party going on. When he discovers that his younger brother has returned, and the celebration is for him, he gets angry. He is upset, not because his younger brother, who went off and wasted half of his father’s wealth on profligate living, is back, but because his father is making an enormous fuss over him. {29-30<\/a>} \u201cLook, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!\u201d<\/p>\n

But the father’s response to his older son is as gracious and celebratory as his joy over his missing son’s return, {31-32<\/a>} \u201cSon, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.\u201d {full<\/a>}<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What do you think the older brother did with his father\u2019s rebuke over his bitterness? <\/em>The older brother\u2019s bitterness was lovingly rebuked \u2013 but what did he do with that opportunity?<\/em><\/p>\n

Avoiding and Warnings<\/h1>\n

Take no heed of others\u2019 words against you<\/h2>\n

Ecc 7:20-22<\/a> \u201cIndeed, there is not a righteous man on earth who continually does good and who never sins. Also, do not take seriously all words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you. For you also have realized that you likewise have many times cursed others.\u201d<\/p>\n

None of us here is guiltless of listening to what others have said about us when we should not, or of saying things that were wrong, mean, hurtful, or just ill-thought-through on more than one occasion. If you have, please take over from me right now: you have achieved what James writes is the perfection of mortals: to perfectly bridle the tongue. {Jam 3:8<\/a>} \u201cBut no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.\u201d<\/p>\n

But why do we listen to such things? Why do we put more weight on some things than others \u2013 especially when we know it is wrong (either at the time, or afterwards)? At least part of it is a fear of non-acceptance \u2013 wanting to fit-in with the crowd around us. And part of it is that sin is enticing \u2013 it [almost] never presents itself in its fullest, ugliest form: would Snow White have taken an apple from the evil queen had she come in her full witch\u2019s fury? Of course not! But she came as a kindly, wizened old woman. That is what sin does to us every opportunity it gets. \u201cAnd I discovered more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are chains One who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her.\u201d {26<\/a>}<\/p>\n

God\u2019s people will not ever be completely and ultimately mastered by sin and the bitterness it brings. But we can see it grow in us until we feel there is no alternative but to be bitter, angry, and disillusioned with God or ourselves. Solomon wrote of this in the context of a prostitute, but is it not applicable to anything that works to interfere with our gaze on our goal? Pro 5:3-5<\/a> \u201cFor the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol.\u201d<\/p>\n

How many of our pet peeves do this to us? They sap energy from good things by distracting us with trivialities. Being a comma and apostrophe Nazi is helpful when proofreading or editing written work. Not wanting to be distracted in the house of God is a good thing \u2013 but there are so many ways Satan wants to get us defocused from God and onto other things: if we are not focused on God, it means we are not fighting as hard (or even at all!) in the spiritual war around us. Satan uses those annoyances to his advantage at every opportunity: if we are on the sidelines, he has an easier fight in front of him, and can take more souls to hell will him.<\/p>\n

Any examples of times you have listened to the wrong person, or took something way out of context because you only got a snippet, or said something yourself that someone else took wrongly, or said something you regretted?<\/em><\/p>\n

Rely on God!<\/h3>\n

\u201cBitterness plants itself I your heart like a poisonous weed, taking up the same space that could otherwise be home to beauty and color\u201d {Love Dare<\/a> 244}<\/p>\n

The best avoidance of bitterness is full reliance on God. He has promised over and over that His strength is sufficient for us, and that we will never be tempted beyond what we can bear. But it is up to us to take those promises to heart and choose to \u201cwalk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.\u201d {I Joh 1:7<\/a>}<\/p>\n

Bitterness grows over time like yeast in rising bread \u2013 \u201cDo you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavened. For Christ our Passover also has been sacrificed.\u201d {I Cor 5:6-7<\/a>}<\/p>\n

We are<\/em><\/strong> all merely human \u2013 on our own.<\/p>\n

But with the indwelling of God\u2019s Holy Spirit in us, the Comforter-Encourager-Empowerer Jesus promised His disciples, we need not rely on our own strength or opinions \u2013 we can call God\u2019s power forth and stand confident He will show Himself through us!<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery day is like a package. You open it in the morning, the moment you wake up. Then at night, you close up all of its experiences \u2013 both the good and the bad \u2013 put them away, and prepare to open a new one again at sunrise\u2026 We ask only for our \u2018daily bread\u2019, not worrying about tomorrow \u2018because tomorrow will worry about itself\u2019\u2026 keep your sins confessed on a daily basis, while also not letting any offense done against you go unforgiven overnight.\u201d {Love Dare<\/a> 242}<\/p>\n

\u201cBut how do you do it? You just release your anger and responsibility for judging the person to the Lord. You recognize that God is the judge, not you, and that He will deal with the offense in His time and in His way.\u201d {Love Dare<\/a> 241}<\/p>\n

\u201cAbove all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.\u201d {I Pet 4:8<\/a>}<\/p>\n

Confront Wrong<\/h3>\n

Just because love covers a multitude of sins, though, does not mean we never confront sin: Paul called the Corinthian church out for \u201ccovering\u201d the sin of a member who was sleeping with his father\u2019s wife \u2013 and they were proud<\/em><\/strong> of it!<\/p>\n

What if the cause of our bitterness or stumbling is a brother or sister in Christ? What if they are someone we \u201chave\u201d to interact with on a regular basis \u2013 a coworker, church leader, family member, etc? What are we to do?<\/p>\n

Jesus did not mince words when he spoke of those who cause \u201cthese little ones\u201d to stumble: He said, \u201cIt would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.\u201d {Mat 5:6<\/a>} Stumbling blocks are inevitable: but they are not unavoidable {7-9<\/a>}!<\/p>\n

So what are we to do? We are to confront our erring brother\/sister, with the desire that they be restored to us: \u201cIf your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.\u201d {15<\/a>} and do it again, and again, and again, and again \u2013 as many times as he sins against you, forgive him: [Peter] \u201c\u2019how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to\u00a0seven times?\u2019 Jesus said to him, \u2018I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf someone says, \u2018I love God,\u2019 and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.\u201d {I Joh 4:20<\/a>}<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know<\/em> you\u2019ve forgiven the offender? You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face \u2013 rather than causing your blood to boil \u2013 causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around. You know it when you see their need for mercy and grace before a Holy God. Love begins again where bitterness ends.\u201d {Love Dare<\/a> 241}<\/p>\n

Closing<\/h1>\n

\u201cVictory is Sweet<\/a>\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u2013 unknown author, myriad recordings<\/p>\n

When I’m broken from the battle, and I’ve lost another round<\/em>
\nSatan whispers to my troubled mind, \u201cJust lay your armor down<\/em>
\nThere are those you loved and trusted; look around you, they’re all gone.\u201d<\/em>
\nIt would be easy to surrender when you’re standing all alone<\/em><\/p>\n

Then I bow my head in sadness, as I ponder what to do<\/em>
\nI’ve been in God’s army for so long and I’ve been a soldier true<\/em>
\nThen I hear a voice from heaven saying pilgrim, it is I<\/em>
\nLift up your head, take new courage, and turn your eyes toward the sky<\/em><\/p>\n

And I see a great band of angels camped all around me<\/em>
\nAnd I see the captain rising up, the challenge to meet<\/em>
\nAnd I know I’m safe from harm when I’m touching Jesus<\/em>
\nOh, yes, the battle is His, the victory is mine, and victory is sweet<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

QOTD \u2013 \u201cwhat is your biggest pet peeve?\u201d Examples Gen 4:3-9 – Cain The first crime recorded was Cain\u2019s murdering of his brother Abel because God showed favor to Abel\u2019s offering and not to Cain\u2019s. Cain was a farmer while Abel was an animal herder. After God directly confronts him about his anger and \u201cfallen …
Continue reading avoiding and returning from bitterness<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[883],"tags":[],"keyring_services":[],"class_list":["post-198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-study"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=198"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=198"},{"taxonomy":"keyring_services","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fkeyring_services&post=198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}