{"id":124,"date":"2008-06-23T16:31:46","date_gmt":"2008-06-23T20:31:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/antipaucity.com\/2008\/06\/23\/tis-a-sad-day\/"},"modified":"2008-06-23T16:31:46","modified_gmt":"2008-06-23T20:31:46","slug":"tis-a-sad-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/?p=124","title":{"rendered":"’tis a sad day :("},"content":{"rendered":"

A ‘Modern Man’ has passed from our midst (https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Lk_dRzaBoUM<\/a>):<\/p>\n

I’m a modern man,
\nA man for the millennium,
\nDigital and smoke free.<\/p>\n

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
\nPolitically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.<\/p>\n

I’ve been uplinked and downloaded.
\nI’ve been inputted and outsourced.
\nI know the upside of downsizing.
\nI know the downside of upgrading.<\/p>\n

I’m a high tech lowlife.
\nA cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
\nAnd I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.<\/p>\n

I’m new wave, but I’m old school,
\nAnd my inner child is outward bound.<\/p>\n

I’m a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
\nVoice activated and biodegradable.<\/p>\n

I interface from a database,
\nAnd my database is in cyberspace,
\nSo I’m interactive,
\nI’m hyperactive,
\nAnd from time-to-time,
\nI’m radioactive.<\/p>\n

Behind the eight ball,
\nAhead of the curve,
\nRiding the wave,
\nDodging a bullet,
\nPushing the envelope.<\/p>\n

I’m on point,
\nOn task,
\nOn message,
\nAnd off drugs.
\nI got no need for coke and speed,
\nI got no urge to binge and purge.<\/p>\n

I’m in the moment,
\nOn the edge,
\nOver the top,
\nBut under the radar.<\/p>\n

A high concept,
\nLow profile,
\nMedium range ballistic missionary.
\nA street-wise smart bomb.
\nA top gun bottom feeder.<\/p>\n

I wear power ties,
\nI tell power lies,
\nI take power naps,
\nI run victory laps.<\/p>\n

I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
\nA raging workaholic.
\nA working rageaholic.
\nOut of rehab,
\nAnd in denial.<\/p>\n

I got a personal trainer,
\nA personal shopper,
\nA personal assistant,
\nAnd a personal agenda.<\/p>\n

You can’t shut me up,
\nYou can’t dumb me down.
\n‘Cause I’m tireless,
\nAnd I’m wireless.
\nI’m an alpha male on beta blockers.<\/p>\n

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever.
\nLaid back but fashion forward.<\/p>\n

Up front,
\nDown home,
\nLow rent,
\nHigh maintenance.<\/p>\n

Super size,
\nLong lasting,
\nHigh definition,
\nFast acting,
\nOven ready,
\nAnd built to last.<\/p>\n

I’m a hands on,
\nFoot loose,
\nKnee jerk,
\nHead case.<\/p>\n

Prematurely post traumatic,
\nAnd I have a love child who sends me hate mail.<\/p>\n

But I’m feeling,
\nI’m caring,
\nI’m healing,
\nI’m sharing.
\nA supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.<\/p>\n

My output is down,
\nBut my income is up.
\nI take a short position on the long bond,
\nAnd my revenue stream has its own cash flow.<\/p>\n

I read junk mail,
\nI eat junk food,
\nI buy junk bonds,
\nI watch trash sports.<\/p>\n

I’m gender specific,
\nCapital intensive,
\nUser friendly,
\nAnd lactose intolerant.<\/p>\n

I like rough sex.
\nI like tough love.
\nI use the f word in my email,
\nAnd the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.<\/p>\n

I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
\nI bought a mini van in a mega store.
\nI eat fast food in the slow lane.<\/p>\n

I’m toll free,
\nBite sized,
\nReady to wear,
\nAnd I come in all sizes.<\/p>\n

A fully equipped,
\nFactory authorized,
\nHospital tested,
\nClinically proven,
\nScientifically formulated medical miracle.<\/p>\n

I’ve been pre-washed,
\nPre-cooked,
\nPre-heated,
\nPre-screened,
\nPre-approved,
\nPre-packaged,
\nPost-dated,
\nFreeze-dried,
\nDouble-wrapped,
\nVacuum-packed,
\nAnd I have an unlimited broadband capacity.<\/p>\n

I’m a rude dude,
\nBut I’m the real deal.
\nLean and mean.
\nCocked, locked, and ready to rock.
\nRough, tough, and hard to bluff.<\/p>\n

I take it slow.
\nI go with the flow.
\nI ride with the tide.
\nI got glide in my stride.<\/p>\n

Drivin’ and movin’,
\nSailin’ and spinnin’,
\nJivin’ and groovin’,
\nWailin’ and winnin’.<\/p>\n

I don’t snooze,
\nSo I don’t lose.
\nI keep the pedal to the metal,
\nAnd the rubber on the road.<\/p>\n

I party hearty,
\nAnd lunch time is crunch time.<\/p>\n

I’m hanging in,
\nThere ain’t no doubt.
\nAnd I’m hanging tough,
\nOver and out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mr Carlin, we will all miss you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A ‘Modern Man’ has passed from our midst (https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Lk_dRzaBoUM): I’m a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded. I’ve been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading. I’m …
Continue reading ’tis a sad day \ud83d\ude41<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,30],"tags":[],"keyring_services":[],"class_list":["post-124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commentary","category-news"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=124"},{"taxonomy":"keyring_services","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/merikebi.warrenmyers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fkeyring_services&post=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}